I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
