She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
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Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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