I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
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it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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