Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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