Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
