Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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