shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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