Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
