Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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