I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
