It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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