oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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