Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Come see our sink grown plant.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
