Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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