just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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