I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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