I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
