good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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