i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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