Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
