They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's shark week go big or go home
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
