woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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