So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
