I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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