If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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