Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
