Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
