im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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