PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
