who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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