do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize