happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
FUCK WHALES
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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