New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
