i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize