We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
