I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I checked into jail on foursquare
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Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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