I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
