OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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