weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
