At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
