Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
