Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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