love makes seman taste better
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
