oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
