i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
