Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
