life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i think im in europe. pls send help
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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