I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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