Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
