yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize