Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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