i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
