that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
