To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
