Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
