There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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