I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
